BRB Stressing

I've had this taste in my mouth for like three days that I acutely remember as being the taste of that anti-nail-biting paint my mom used to put on my sucking thumb. I stalwartly sucked my thumb anyway, because I love my own bad habits. I'd put my blanky over my head and become totally invisible. But it's a disgusting taste and I hate it, and it's been with me all week.

close-up of an arrangement with anthurium


I got knocked out by a flu this week. Sick like i haven't been in ten years. When I was wallowing in sweatpants (I love sweatpants) on the couch with this horrible taste I indulged my grosser thoughts about how this is probably the taste of cell decay itself. This is where my head goes when I watch a lot of X-Files, as I've been doing lately.

A lot of stuff if happening for Serpent. I love it, but I'm a person of stress. Friend of chaos, but absolutely prey to stress. So much so that I'll make myself sick and so freaked out that I am basically whipped into in a froth of self-doubt, but that's fine. I don't mind that. I mind when I feel myself resisting the work. I love to work and want to work hard on my projects, and so when I start to feel tired or like I'd rather watch TV (X-files) I feel sad and guilty, and like maybe this isn't the right thing to do. Which is obviously stupid. I'm just tired. And feeling self-indulgent.


Whatever. I'll be fine tomorrow.